Where Is My Hope?

I think there have been many times in my life when I have been disappointed in circumstances, with others, or even with myself. Today, I found myself disappointed in circumstances. We had a setback in treatment today because of miscommunication between doctor's offices and a blood pressure reading of 87/44. So, my Daddy's treatment has been delayed by one week. I am thankful we discovered the source of his dizziness and lethargy (he even had a fall due to blacking out), because we were beginning to fear he was declining too quickly. 

While contemplating this week, I realized I had been putting so much importance on today, because my Daddy's treatment would begin, and with that a glimmer of hope in medical technology. My heart was pricked tonight, because my hope was misplaced. My hope should not be in these earthly manifestations of bits of glory, but in the Glory Himself, the one who makes all these medical innovations possible. He is in full control of every molecular structure put together in these medicines to effect every cell in our body. He is also in full control of time. Our schedule might have changed, but we know Who holds all of this in his hands.

Isaiah 40:25-26

25 To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One.

26 Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.

A Precious Reminder

This is from this Tuesday's, Our Daily Bread, March 24, 2015

Simply Trusting

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. —Psalm 56:3

When our children were young, taking them to the doctor’s office was an interesting experience. The waiting room was filled with toys they could play with and children’s magazines I would read to them. So getting that far with them was no problem. But as soon as I picked them up to carry them into the appointment, everything changed. Suddenly the fun turned into fear as the nurse approached with the needle for the needed shot. The closer she got, the tighter they hugged my neck. They would cling to me for comfort, probably hoping for rescue, not knowing that it was for their own good.

Sometimes in this fallen world we move from times of peace and tranquility into the painful realm of trouble. At that point, the question is, “How will I respond?” We can be fearful and wonder why God allowed this to happen to us, or we can trust that in the midst of this trouble He is doing something that in the end is for our best, even if it hurts. We would do well to remember the words of the psalmist who wrote, “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You” (Ps. 56:3).

Like my children, the tougher it gets, the tighter we should hug His neck. Trust Him. His love never fails!

Come quickly, Lord, to help me. Teach me to trust You in times of trouble. Remind me of Your presence and of the fact that You hold me in Your loving arms.

By Joe Stowell

Source: http://odb.org/2015/03/24/simply-trusting-2/

Finding Our Way

On yesterday's post, I finished with scheduling the gamma knife surgery. We met with an oncologist who would be part of the gamma knife team a week prior to the procedure, March 5th. She and her nurse thoroughly explained the procedure and possible side effects, then prescribed some medications for my dad to take prior to the surgery. We were told to arrive by 6:15 am on March 12th, my niece's 18th birthday. I won't go into the details of the procedure, although I do have some funny pictures of my dad from that day. The head gear that was screwed into his skull was an amazing feat of engineering, but not exactly fashionable. It was a tremendously exhausting day. I was thankful to have friends come to the rescue to help pass the time and even bring lunch! After three MRI's they proceeded. Three, because one of the fourteen identified tumors was very close to the optic nerve. I am thankful they took the time to triple-check their measurements. I'm not sure, but I think my dad probably did better than any patient they've ever had, but of course I'm biased. He was a trooper! I could feel God's peace surrounding us that day and he had no adverse side effects, which was an answer to prayer.

Part of the story I neglected to tell you earlier, is about scheduling an appointment with a melanoma specialist at the James Cancer Center at OSU. The day after his staging diagnosis, I called to see if I could get an appointment there. It would be two weeks before they could see him, but that put us just past the gamma knife surgery. So, four days after gamma knife and with a surprise companion, we made a journey to Columbus. The surprise was that my brother, who lives in Chicago, called the day before and let us know he would be home to go with us. Needless to say, we were thrilled. The staff and doctors were phenomenal there. As a result of being directed to the James, we ended up right back in Cincinnati. How did that happen? I believe God sent us to Columbus to help expedite the process in Cincinnati. In speaking with the OSU oncologist, we found that we have a renown melanoma specialist right here in Cincinnati who could offer all the same treatment options as they would have away from home.

Because of this OSU appointment, before we even got back down the highway, we received a call from the recommended oncologist and got an appointment for the next day. We had been familiarized with treatment options at OSU, so we were prepared for two or three possibilities...traditional chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and a BRAF inhibitor medication. He tested negative for a BRAF genetic mutation, so we were left with chemo or immunotherapy. I had been doing a substantial amount of reading since his diagnosis and my dad was opposed to traditional chemotherapy. The response rate with stage four melanoma is not good with chemo and it is debilitating, so immunotherapy is the treatment we are pursuing. Basically, he will receive four treatments, each one twenty-one days apart. The drug is administered by infusion and is supposed to stimulate my dad's own immune system to fight the cancer. 

So, now you are up-to-date. His first infusion will be Friday, March 27th. There are possible side effects, but generally, those do not show up until after the third infusion, if they happen at all. Please pray that his immune system will be up for the fight and that there will be little or no side effects. He has been enjoying the cards and notes of encouragement and the many other ways you are all supporting us in thought, in deed, but especially in prayer. We know our Heavenly Father hears every one! We are looking forward to a few peaceful days ahead this week, with my brother and his family visiting this week, before my dad's infusion on Friday. I will post an update after that. In the meantime, keep those prayers coming!

Isaiah 40:28-29

28 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

Our New Journey Begins

I was trying to figure out the best way to communicate all the things that have been happening in our lives lately, so I decided to start blogging about our new journey. It is hard to believe that it has been ten years since I have posted anything to this page. Since 2005, so much has happened, but it would take too long to cover all of that. Maybe later, I will write a book about those years, but since that will probably never happen, I will move forward. 

On Sunday, February 8, 2015, my dad let me know that he had found a lump in his breast. He had just found it the week before, but when it did not go away, he mentioned it to me. I told him I would get him an appointment with his family doctor the next day. So, on Monday he saw his family doctor. Since the lump was hard, the doctor felt it should be evaluated by a surgeon. Immediately, I scheduled an appointment with the surgeon, but since the lump was in his breast, they wanted him to have a mammogram prior to his appointment. It was scheduled for February 19th.

You can only imagine how strange my dad felt going to a breast cancer center with a waiting room full of women. During what he referred to as a "man-o-gram", they took a look at both breasts, which surprised my dad, but in hindsight, we are so thankful. They identified the one lump, which he had felt, and two more in the other breast. They followed up to take a look by ultrasound. We briefly met with the surgeon who asked us to wait while the radiologists evaluated the images. The radiologists determined that my dad should have biopsies of all three masses.

Consequently, on Monday, February 23rd, he had ultrasound-guided core biopsies taken. We were told the results would be back within 48 hours. The wait began. On Wednesday morning, February 25, 2015, my dad received a call from his family doctor with the diagnosis...melanoma. Wait? Did my dad understand him correctly? He had been screened, he did not have any places on his skin, how could this be? His family doctor asked him to come in immediately for an all-over look to see if he had missed anything. He took a head-to-toe look, every crack and crevice, on his day off! There was nothing on the surface of the skin to explain where this originated. He recommended an oncology group and we went home to digest the news. Once again, I immediately scheduled his appointment.

Then begins the whirlwind...

Thursday...oncologist appointment then sent immediately for brain MRI, PET scan scheduled for Friday

Friday...while at PET scan the oncologist calls, melanoma is in the brain and you need to come right away after PET scan to see our radiation oncologist, scheduled gamma knife surgery

Monday...back at oncologist to discuss test results, stage four melanoma, if brain is not treated right away, it could be life threatening, we might want to examine more options for treatment through clinical trials.

What just happened? Did she just say my dad has stage four melanoma? When we look back, his only symptoms had been some fatigue and loss of appetite. How could this be? 

This begins our new journey. Tomorrow, I hope to bring you up to date, but for now, know that throughout all of this, family and friends have been praying and God is fully in control. Sometimes, in the midst of these whirlwinds, we lose our focus on the sovereignty, wisdom and goodness of our Heavenly Father. He pours grace out upon us and provides support and encouragement in ways we never realize we need. I am humbled by it all.