The Grass is Greener

Once spring has sprung (even with frosty mornings), the grass getting greener heralds the return to yard work...weeding, pruning, mulching, trimming, and cutting the grass. For some men, this is a chore, a time-consumer, a never-ending battle against spring's new growth. For my Daddy, however, spring initiates the enjoyable return to life on the tractor. He may contradict, but he loves cutting the grass. With cancer fatigue, he has not been able to return to his favorite past time this year. He spectates from the porch or bedroom window while we circle the house. 

Previously, I was never involved with mowing on the farm. It's Daddy's love. In a pinch, Dave or the older boys would help out, but I never did. Plus, I've always liked flowers, veggies, and dirt. I even like the worms I find when I dig in the dirt. However, when the need arose for an heir to the tractor, I pushed the boys aside and commanded them to stand back as I started the mower. After several failed attempts, Mark had to give me a tutorial. Once I got the hang of it, though, there was no looking back. After my first attempt left too much thatch, I began dreaming of mowing patterns, and more efficient mowing patterns.

To my Daddy's chagrin, because I am still "his little girl", I am now the mowing queen. I am enjoying the solitude on the tractor. It gives me time to pray, time to praise, and time to ponder. I now understand why my sweet Daddy has always enjoyed this so much. When he starts feeling better, he may have to wrestle the tractor away from me. 

Speaking of feeling better, my Daddy has perked up a little these past couple days. He had a treatment on Thursday, which went well, but they found he needed some oxygen. For my next post in a few days, I will relate the story of the oxygen delivery. Needless to say, there is never a dull moment here. How could there be with my Daddy, my hubby, four of our boys, and our dog around? Pray that my Daddy's appetite will increase and that he will continue to be strengthened. Hopefully, he will be back on the tractor soon...and I promise not to wrestle him for it...the first time!

Does God Only Give Us What We Can Handle?

During the last few weeks, my family has been passing around a prolonged respiratory virus. We were being very careful not to pass it on to my Daddy, because he has been dealing with so much connected with his cancer. Unfortunately, he came down with the virus. Over the weekend, he was running a fever and not sleeping much because of coughing. I was beginning to wonder if he had pneumonia or bronchitis. However, Monday, he began to show some improvement. His fever returned to normal and his coughing was less persistent. He continues to struggle with cancer fatigue, shortness of breath, and lack of appetite, so please pray specifically that he will be strengthened and be able to eat well.

I have often heard it said that God does not give us more than we can handle. I believe that is derived from I Corinthians 10:13, where scripture says, "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape,that you may be able to bear it." While I am open to discussion of this scripture, I believe this strictly applies to temptation (I'll have to check with Michael about the Greek). If I believe this interpretation and I ponder the last several years of my life, I might begin to deceitfully think, "Wow! God must think I'm Wonder Woman! He apparently thinks I can handle so much!" Of course, this would be  profoundly wrong, because I am far from being Wonder Woman. Just ask my boys! They would want to know where my cool invisible jet is parked.

The truth is, I cannot handle any of this! On my own, in my own strength, I just can't! When I try to get through things on my own, I stumble, I fall, and some days I curl up in the fetal position and bury myself under my covers. Everyday, before I place my feet on the floor next to my bed, before anything else enters my mind, I am reminded I cannot do this on my own...

Lord, I need You to help me move my arthritis-stiffened body, I need You to help me love my family, I need You to help me love my Daddy's cancer and to try to understand what his cancer is teaching me. Lord, You have given me way more than I can handle, but it is certainly what You can handle...it always is. You give me the strength to get through each and every moment.

Below is a link to a post by Jon Bloom, president of Desiring God, called "Why God Gives Us More Than We Can Handle". He presents one of my favorite Biblical examples and I hope you have time to read it:

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/why-god-gives-us-more-than-we-can-handle

Artist:

Stephanie Buscema (Painter)

Neurosurgeon Visit and Treatment #1

I will keep this post relatively short. My Daddy saw his neurosurgeon yesterday and was told he is a "good healer", since his wounds are practically invisible. The doctor was very pleased and took him off a medication that we believe is causing his fatigue. He will have a follow-up MRI in June to see how things are progressing with the tumors in his brain.

Next, he went to the oncologist's office to get his first immunotherapy treatment. We met with the nurse practitioner for a review of the adverse side effects, which we don't anticipate with the first treatment. Usually, there are no side effects until the second or third. Everything went fine except we found out who I get my horrible veins from, so they stuck him a few times. When he was almost finished the IV infiltrated and they had to try again to finish up. He was in a rush to get out of there when he was done, but for someone who'd never had IVs, he did great!

So, now we wait to see if this medication can convince his immune system to attack all the melanoma lurking throughout his body. The battle begins.